EMAIL SUPPORT LISTS
Please Note: This page contains links to Email Support Lists of several types.
The hands shown here indicate that the Email Support List has formally requested affiliation with SSN and has agreed to meet our guidelines.
The other email support lists (while very valuable support resources as well) are not (or not yet) affiliated with SSN and the Straight Spouse Network has no control over or responsibility for the content of these lists.
In all cases the opinions expressed on these lists are solely the opinions of the author and do not reflect the views of SSN as a whole unless posted by the Executive Director of SSN and labeled as such.

This page is divided into five sections...

For the Straight Spouse:
Straights Mailing List (STR8S)
Str8s is for straight husbands, wives, and partners, who wish to share concerns after their spouses or partners who come out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. On the list, members provide each other support as they work out diverse ways to resolve post-disclosure issues. The goal is constructive resolution of individual concerns and, if possible, development of a positive relationship, whether or not they stay together.
To subscribe to STR8S:
Send an email to str8s-subscribe@lists.str8s.org
In the body of the email type 'Subscribe [your email address]'
Note: Due to AOL security policies, we do not subscribe AOL email addresses; Likewise due to recent changes at Yahoo, we do not subscribe Yahoo email addresses either; please get a gmail, Hotmail, or similar type address before subscribing.
Manager's mailbox--manager@str8s.org
Visit the web page at www.str8s.org
Straights in Transition
We are a group of straight women and men who have been dealing with a gay or lesbian spouse or partner who has came out of the closet either only to us or more publicly. We are people whose lives are in transition. We are over the initial trauma, but not quite moved on completely. Our group has members who have stayed together, divorced, separated, and in some cases moved on to new relationships. We are young, middle aged, and old, from all parts of the world (although mostly the United States), many with children, some without.
A prerequisite for joining str8s-in-transition is prior membership in one of our sister groups, such as STR8S or WOGBH. If you have been a member of ANY of the listservs affiliated with the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), please say so when you apply to this one. While another Yahoo group, str8s1, is not affiliated with the SSN, we welcome those who come from that group as well.
If this list isn’t right for you, we are happy to refer you to another group that is appropriate for your pathway and where you are in your journey.
If you would like to join str8s-in transition, please briefly (in a paragraph or 2) let us know where you are in your journey, how long you have been dealing with this, what you wish to gain from our group, and which other str8s on-line support group you have been participating in.
We would love to have you join us as we find new meaning and direction in our lives. We learn and grow together.
Wives of Bi/Gay Husbands
Wives of Bi/Gay Husbands is a closed membership list of straight women (girlfriends, wives, and ex-wives) of bisexual or gay men.
Because membership is closed, the women are free to explore the full range of emotions that are involved in the "coming out" process for the straight spouse. Wives of Bi/Gay Husbands is for the woman who seeks guidance, prayer, support and networking from other wives & women who are dealing with the confusion & loss in their relationship & the effects within the family.
English Wives
We are a small caring support group for BRITISH wives of Bisexual or Gay husbands and offer friendship, support, understanding & a sympathetic email or telephone ear.
We are a diverse group of British (or occasionally non-British but resident in the UK) women who are dealing with our situation in various ways but we are always here for each other in a non-judgmental and supportive manner."
MMTL - Men Married to Lesbians
Men Married to Lesbians is a closed membership support group of men married to lesbians.
Str8s1
This mailing list is for (current or former) straight spouses of bisexual, gay, or lesbian partners. If you need a place where you can FREELY express yourself and wish to talk to others that are going through the same thing .. this is the place for you.
To subscribe:
Visit the web page at Str8s1
AlternatePath
Alternate Path is a group for the wives and female
partners of gay/bi men where the female partner wishes to remain in the
marriage/relationship and needs support in discussing the issues which
are commonly faced when learning about the fact of a husband/partners
homo/bisexuality. Many, though not all of the marriages discussed are
open (for one or both partners) although some members are in monogamous
relationships with their gay/bi husbands/ partners also.
Straight Monogamous Married Spouses (SMMS)
SMMS is an Internet mailing list for Straight Spouses trying to maintain a MMOM (Monogamous Mixed Orientation Marriage)
TransFamilySpouses
TransFamilySpouses is an email list for spouses or partners of transgender men or women, including transvestites and transsexuals at any stage of transitioning
America-On-Line Members Only
3 Groups for AOL members only
Support Str8 Spouses of Gays
Keyword: Message Boards
On that screen, Click on Women's Community Message Boards
On that screen, Click on Wellness
On that screen, Click on Support A-Z
On that Screen, scroll to and click Support Str8 Spouses of Gays
Monday Night Support Chat
Keyword: WomenTalk....Relationships Chat Room
Mondays 10-midnight (EASTERN TIME):
Women's Channel: Relationships Chat
Working Thru
WorkingThru is a private chat room available to AOL members only (unfortunately). We are straight spouses of bisexual, gay and lesbian partners who are working to keep their relationship intact. We've been meeting every Tuesday for over a year now to share common issues, receive support, exchange resources and freely express personal experiences, such as impact issues upon children, friends, family and social environment. The room opens Tuesday at 10:00 p.m. Eastern Time. Since this is a rather informal group, we advise that you stay in the room and wait and eventually someone will join you.

For Either Spouse:
Spouse Support Mailing List for Mixed Orientation Relationships (SSML-MOR)
The Spouse Support Mailing List for Mixed Orientation Relationships (SSML-MOR) is a mailing list for heterosexual spouses and/or gay, lesbian or bisexual spouses in mixed-orientation marriages.
The spouses on this list are trying to work through relationship problems after the coming out of the gay, lesbian or bisexual spouse. The goal is constructive resolution of problems so that a positive relationship can be maintained or restored.
To subscribe to ssml:
Send a blank email message to ssml-subscribe@lists.ssml-mor.org
or visit the web page at www.ssml-mor.org/
Note: Due to AOL security policies, we do not subscribe AOL email addresses;
Likewise do to recent changes at Yahoo, we do not subscribe Yahoo email addresses either;
please get a gmail, Hotmail, or similar type address before subscribing.
Manager's mailbox--manager@str8s.org
Monogamous Mixed Orientation Marriage (MMOM)
MMOM is a support group for either or both
members of a mixed orientation marriage or relationship working to
remain monogamous..."Monogamous" means that the partners are sexually
exclusive with each other.
Making Mixed Orientation Marriages Work (MMOMW)
This group has been created for those who are in mixed orientation marriages. Straight spouses who are married to gays or bisexuals and also the married gays and bisexuals themselves. This is a support group only. A place where we can get together and discuss ways we make our marriages work in a positive way.

For Both Spouses:
Hope-Understanding-Growth-Support (HUGS) - Couples.
A support list for couples where one or both spouse(s) is/are les/bi/gay and the couple is working in a positive way to maintain the marriage. The list is for couples only and both must join.
For more information and instruction on how to join visit the website
TransFamilyCouples

TransFamilyCouples is an email list for both partners of couples where one partner is transgender, including transvestites and transsexuals at any stage of transitioning

For The Gay/Les/Bi/Tran Spouse:
Spouses Out To Their Spouses (SOTTS)
SOTTS is an Internet mailing list for bisexual, gay, or lesbian partners in mixed orientation relationships who are trying to keep their marriages intact and for keeping the relationship positive for those couples who are separating or divorcing. The SOTTS List is not moderated; it is a closed list so that only les/bi/gay spouses will be members. The subscription list is private.
Bisexual Married Men of America (BMMA)
BMMA is an unmoderated email discussion group comprised of bisexual and gay married men. Exchanges are by email, not live, although many men arrange to chat in real time via their own commercial services or IRC (Internet Relay Chat). The discussion topics range from the spiritual, to sexual, to issues that all gay or bisexual married men face.
To subscribe to BMMA: Visit the BMMA Website
and click on the subscribe link at the top left of the page.
COAMLB · coming out as a married lesbian or bi
This is a group for married lesbians and bi-women coming out to themselves, to their mate or to the lesbian community at large and wondering what to do now. It is for married women who love women yet intend to stay married or trying to find a way out without anyone getting hurt. It is for married women with g/f's and the impact the marriage has on that relationship. Note: This group is for women only!! Members are asked not to share emails or posts with anyone, including a spouse.
Willow: a group for married, divorcing, and divorced lesbian and bisexual women.
This support group is confidential and based upon a community for sharing experiences and encouragement as women come to terms with their same-sex attractions despite having been married to men.
Husbands Out to their Wives (HOW)
Husbands Out to their Wives (HOW) Husbands Out to their Wives is a moderated list that includes bi/gay members who are married, separated, divorced, or in the process of getting a divorce. Most are out to their spouses.
Contact Frazer for more information.
Married Men's Group
The Group is for men who are, or who have been in relationships with women and who also have sexual feelings for other men.
The group is an open, relaxed and highly confidential space that allows men to explore and talk openly and frankly about their feelings and experiences, without being judged or coerced into one particular direction. All volunteers and group members are in, or have been in, relationships with women so can understand and offer mutual support to other men in the same situation as ourselves.
Webmaster's note: This group is based out of Manchester, UK.
About HIV:
HIV Negative Spouses
This is a group for HIV negative wives and partners of HIV positive men. This is for questions, support, and exchanging information. We are a close and supportive group.
WidowedbyAIDS
This will be a support group for widows whose partners or spouses died of AIDS or AIDS-related diseases.
